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Monday, November 17, 2008

Safety First

I will never cease to be amazed at the influence of trial attorneys and class action lawsuits on product packaging.  "Oh, you mean that hot coffee might burn me?"  And so it began.  And so it continues ...


Larry recently purchased a set of little letter openers from Staples.  Nothing fancy.  Just those little plastic things with a blade embedded to slice envelopes.  Fortunately, it came with some safety advice for our benefit.  "They," the elusive, omnipresent "they" who seem to know what is good and healthy for us better than we ourselves, have decided that goggles aren't just for use with power tools anymore:

 
The bad news is that we cannot find our safety goggles at the moment.  So though I hate to admit it, we've been flirting with danger, opening letters without goggles.  Irresponsible, I know.  And a bad example to the kids as well.  It will give them permission some day, I am sure, to use unsafe letter-opening practices.  And how will I feel when a flyaway envelope shred, or worse yet an opener slipped out of an over-exuberant hand, hits them in their unprotected eye?  I will feel like the horrible mother that I am.  And worst of all, because of the warning, I will have no legal case against Staples.

Please.  What's next?  A welding mask for nail clippers?  Maybe steel-toed boots for a vacuum.  Latex gloves with white-out.  Just so long as they don't get sued.

18 fishy comments:

Kim said...

You're so reckless! And hilarious, I might add.

Jillene said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!! That is HILARIOUS!! But you never know--a particle of paper that is flying off when you open your letter might just fly right up into your eye!! (0;

Mommy Madness said...

This is hilarious! It's like the label not to be removed from the pillow.

Erin said...

And not using your hairdryer in the shower or bath. So ridiculous and funny!

*MARY* said...

Or seatbelts at the dinner table.

Tink said...

That's completely hilarious! Who'da thunk?

Kristina P. said...

Staples is just trying to be courteous. I don't think this has anything to do with a lawsuit. Just plain old safety.

(HAHAHAHAHAHA!)

Diane said...

You better be careful usuing that thing you might poke your eye out. If I were you, I would go find my safely goggles, or you can borrow mine. Oh wait, I can't find mine either. They are probably with all the tape measures I keep loosing out in the garage. LOL

Octamom said...

Living on the edge, Girl, living on the edge~

Blessings~

clan of the cave hair said...

I find it extremely unwise, and frankly, quite shocking that you would consider opening your letters without goggles. Why in heaven's name do you not have 2 pair hanging from an awesome little vinyl-lettered wooden plack next to your adorable "in-box" centered in the front hallway ..hanging from pegs at all times? Shocking, just shocking.

Wendyburd1 said...

As someone who gets hurt by stupid stuff...that looks like a BIG OW if you sliced yourself!!

Mina said...

Wendy--I think it would be a big ow ... if you could get you finger in there. And I don't think you can, unless you're an infant. Which is covered in the "Keep out of the reach of children" clause of the warning label. Otherwise, the blade is narrower than the blue plastic. I think the biggest risk is a paper cut. And goggles aren't helping with that situation.

Mina said...

Oh, and Lisa--how terribly uncool am I? My in-box is my kitchen counter and my out-box is my piano which is currently by the front door.

Kristina P. said...

Why did I think it had been a while since you last posted? I am going crazy.

clan of the cave hair said...

not just uncool, but un-couth

Kristina P. said...

Mina, I had to laugh about the casserole dish comment! Guess what I have in my cupboards. I have only been to one Enrichment activity in 5 years, due to my work schedule, and the etching was it. Yay for the Pulsipher casserole dish!

Lorie said...

I cannot believe you are being so careless with your safety. I mean you could be BLINDED for life!

I love that they tell you to wear goggles, but don't recommend anything for your hands.

Jenn said...

ROFL... goggles. Hmmm.