Thursday, November 13, 2008

Express Yourself

In an effort to maintain a fair and balanced blog, I am following my modesty post with a post about the boobie shirt.

Last week Larry and I were eating lunch at Taco Bell.  (Now before you all accuse me of having poor taste in Mexican food, I need to inform you that I in fact have excellent taste in Mexican food.  I also like Taco Bell.  I just don't categorize Taco Bell as Mexican food.)  We were sitting in a booth by the soda fountain, as this was the table with the most sun, and I was cold.  This was also a desirable location for engaging in one of my favorite pastimes, people watching.  I watched as folks waited for their orders, emptied their trays, and filled and refilled their drinks.

One guy passed back and forth several times.  He did not particularly catch my attention other than to note that he was not very attractive, and by that I mean that he was quite unattractive.  It wasn't until his last refill before leaving the restaurant that I happened to read his T-shirt.  "Boobies Make Me Smile."  Something about a thirty-something ugly guy wearing an article of clothing with the word "boobies" screen printed on it made me burst into hysterical laughter.  It was absurd.  They seemed words more fitting for a shirt on a lewd teen-aged boy or a tongue-in-cheek onsie for a breast-fed baby.

I began to imagine circumstances he'd find himself in during a day, and wondered how his, er, statement would be received.  I thought of him making a deposit at the bank, likely because Larry and I went to Taco Bell after making a deposit.  What if he was helped by a well endowed teller?  What if he smiled at her as he said hello?  Could she help but wonder if he was only smiling at her boobies?  

What if he encountered a large chested pharmacist?  A grocery checker wearing a 38DD?  A buxom state trouper with the power to ticket him for smiling at her boobies while going 50 in a 35?  That facial expression on him was now entirely tainted by his wardrobe choice.

The  social scientist in me wished I had seen the shirt in enough time to take off my pea coat to see if he'd smile at my boobies.  Expressing this regret to Larry, he kindly offered smile at them for me himself instead.  

Maybe I have it backwards.  Maybe instead of inappropriate and offensive, this is a shirt that should be standard issue for the XY chromosome set.

6 fishy comments:

Kristina P. said...

Is it still breast cancer awareness month? Maybe he's just trying to do his part. Yeah, I'm sure that's it.

Trying to Stay Calm! said...

LOL! Perfect comment Kristina P. :)

Erin said...

Yeah, that's just gross. I just thought of a lewd title we could have put on a shirt to give to him, but I won't put it on your blog. It would have been good though.

Tink said...

Lol! Wait, that was my husband you're talking about! JK! Loved Kristina's remark. Such wit!

clan of the cave hair said...

LOL-there is a really funny you-tube video that involves a "police man" and boobies...where the "perp" offers to do "anything" to get out of the ticket, so the "police man" says "ok, show me your boobies" and she does, and his only response is the exclamation of "Boobies!!!" said with total unadulterated glee. Its hilarious.

Melanie J said...

Um, my husband makes that offer all the time, but there's no subconsious t-shirt brainwashing going on. As the lone woman against three males in my house, I can only thank goodness that at least my nine-year-old thinks boobs are kinda gross right now. If only he'll still think that 'til about thirty, his adolescence might be manageable.