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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

More On Aging

How does one go from looking forward to getting older to resenting it in less than two years? If I think about it, the process has actually only taken three months.  It began when we moved to Idaho.


During the four years we spent in the mountains, I had always been the youngest by one or two if not the youngest adult at church.  My friend who had children the age of my children and who served with me in Primary that entire time, was 11 years older than me.  The other women were retirement age.  At school there were moms younger than me, but it seemed that more of them were older.  At least that was true of the parents I hung out with.  Getting older did indeed give me added validity.

Here we live in a community filled with families.  There are certainly parents older than I. More seem younger.  Many of my kids' teachers are younger than I.  

Though I've had this blog for 2 1/2 years, it's only since we moved that I've really entered the "blogging" community.  (What can I say?  I'm a little lonely.  It's easier to sit here and make pretend friends on line than it is to go "out there" and find real ones.)  I am finding that many of my fellow bloggers are very young.  Like, I-would-have-hired-you-to-baby-sit-my-kids-or-could-have-been-your-Young-Women-leader-a-few-years-back, kind of young.  I am grateful for anyone over the age of 30 who blogs.

It's not really age that's the problem.  I'm fine with that.  I have no reservations telling anyone who asks.  I am 34.  I will be 35 in January.  This is not ancient.  It's the increasing number of adults who were kids when I was already an adult that makes me feel old.  Twice recently I have been "complimented" on the fact that I don't look old enough to have two middle schoolers.  Ok, yeah, that's nice, thank you.  But this really says to me, wow, you are OLD.  Suddenly I feel it.

Today, I was helping in #3s class.  Her teacher had read them a book about desert life and was pulling up the internet right there on the classroom pull down screen to research both the author of the book and desert life.  He was having trouble getting their attention.  I couldn't believe it.  This was such cool technology, amazing compared to the reel to reel films I watched in  elementary school.  And I said so.  The kids gave me a blank stare.  They have no idea what a film reel is.  The teacher (only about 6 years my junior) said, "Oh come on, you're not that old."  Well, yes.  If having watched films on a projector makes me old, then yes, I am that old.  Video technology was certainly there in the very early 80s, but it was expensive, I never saw it in a classroom until maybe 6th or 7th grade.  

You know,  it's a lie that my attitude changed only with the move.  I suddenly remember posting about the girls' middle school dance.  That made me feel old, too.  And that was June.  Well, perhaps the move has just accelerated the inevitable.  My baby is about to turn 7, and I am about to turn into a fogey.  Maybe that's okay.  I'll be good at it.  I have a lot of old person habits already.  I'm always cold, I knit, and Larry and I do the crossword.  I'm sure there's more to that list, but I can't recall.  My memory is going.

Where's my flannel blanket?

15 fishy comments:

Kristina P. said...

See, I would say that most of the people who read my blog are actually older than I am and are mothers and have older children. I am 30.

And you've been blogging for some time now! Go you!

clan of the cave hair said...

do you listen to NPR religiously yet? that was my first clue that I am old and ready to die soon...lol

the letter Bee said...

I'll be 30 in July. I remember seeing filmstrips in school, and the ones with a projector. How old will I feel when someone says "Wow, your kids are in jr. high?" because they're not going to mean it as "Wow, you look young for having kids so old", they're going to mean it as "You're THAT old and your kids are only in jr. high?" LOL. I need to move out of Utah.

Tink said...

Ah Mina...I am one of those older bloggers--43! And, hey, my birthday is in January too! I had one of those "reality checks" last month when my daughter had made some comments about me looking old. Maybe you'll get a good laugh out of that one. Check it out at http://tink65.blogspot.com/2008/10/reality-check.html. My motto? "Dye until you die" (you'll always keep them guessing).

J Lee said...

I guess I am one of those you DID hire as your kids babysitter that is now an adult and now makes you feel old. I'm sure I will be in your position one day too.

Jillene said...

First--you are NOT, nor do you look, old!! I could very well have kids in Jr. High but I chose to marry when I was almost 25. I am now 36 and feel GREAT!! I am actually on the downslide of 30 and right on my way to 40. Just remember that 40 is the new 20!!

Mina said...

OH. MY. HECK. I DID hire you. Tons. You and your sister were my favorites by like a mile!!! Nah, you don't make me old. But you will once I start following your blog! BAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Mina said...

And I WAS your Young Women's President!! I AM old...

Erin said...

I was teaching piano one day, and started talking about a record player. The girl asked, "What is that?" I told her it was the thing that came before a tape player. She asked, "What is that?" That was the moment I knew I was old.

Diane said...

Mina, we are ment to be e-bff's I have been feeling just like that at church. There seems to be a void of people my age in my ward. Most of the couples are young, in their 20's and early 30's and having babies. I am 42, have a 13, 9, and 5 year old. I got married older that most LDS women, so I am older than most of the mothers with kids the same age as mine. I am hearing about all the fun things many of the young mothers are doing together and I feel a little left out, but at the same time I am at a different place in my life than they are. I have more freedom to go places without small children, my house isn't childproof for little kids, and we have different interest. I guess I just wish for someone to play with who shared some of my interests and children close to the same age. Is that too much to ask for?

Blog is my Co-Pilot said...

I'm also one of those moms who has little kids but am on the downhill slide to 40. Nobody invites me over for playdates...it sucks.

Trying to Stay Calm! said...

You are NOT old at all :) ♥ Hugs!

Octamom said...

My kids have asked if we had tv's when I was growing up--yeah. They're thinking I'm so spry.

Blessings!

Wendyburd1 said...

You are so NOT old and you do NOT look even 30!! (My age, which I will type down but have yet to say out loud!)
I would never have thought you were gonna be 35!!

Mina said...

While so many of you are being so kind, I feel it necessary to add that this post was NOT about fishing for compliments.

And again, it's not that I think I am so very old or even the fact that I am in fact feeling old. It's that the old feeling bothers me now, where I used to kind of welcome it.

Did anyone read that first post of mine from 2 years ago? Can anyone see it? I need to change my colors. THe brown and red are so close. Anyway, this makes a little more sense if you read where I came from.

I'm gonna go change my colors now...