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Sunday, June 14, 2009

Strutting

Today on the way home from church we saw a tom turkey who appeared to be posing for a Thanks-giving Day portrait.  My son was impressed.  We see the turkey all the time, but never with his tail feathers fanned out in display.  He wanted to know why Tom was strutting his stuff.  I told him that the turkey was trying to impress the girls.


Speaking of which ...

Just this past week as I was driving home from the grocery store I spotted 4 turkeys walking along the side of the road.  These turkeys were human males, appearing to be in their late teens or early twenties at most.  They were fully clothed with the notable exception of their rear-ends, which were exposed.  I was not impressed, and surprisingly not even very disgusted.  I was simply confused.  Questions to pose the quartet flooded my mind as I passed them.  "What are you all thinking?  Are you serious?  What is the goal here?  Trying to be funny?  Racy?  Tough?  Imposing?  Want another beer?"  Some level of intoxication seemed to me the most rational explanation.

The last day of school was a Wednesday, my regular day in #3's classroom, and I went in.  The first hour of the day was taken up with a fifth grade "graduation" assembly.  At the end of the assembly we all rose and waited for the new grads to file out.  Most of the kids proceeded down to aisle toward the back door.  A handful of turkeys raced up to the stage and began, er, dancing, I suppose.  They were gyrating in awkward, preteen craziness, looking ludicrous.  I noted to #3s teacher that only boys were goofing-off on the stage, my assumption being that the girls were more mature and taking the event more seriously.  His response was not what I'd been thinking.  He said, "Well, we don't have colorful feathers or big manes, and we've got to show the girls what we have to offer somehow."  Hm.  I don't know about their female classmates, but I failed to see the charm.

It starts young.  Years ago when #2 was five, we were at a rehearsal for a Primary Christmas program.  The children were singing "Away in a Manger."  #2 was seated next to a little boy who was a year ahead of her in Primary but sat next to her in kindergarten.  A friend of mine got my attention and motioned to the kids.  I looked over to see the boy flexing his muscles for my girl.  My high school psych teacher would have added to this picture the caption: "It's THAT way to the beach."  #2 in turn was looking very impressed, batting her lashes, and giggling with one little hand demurely covering her mouth.  Seven plus years later, I'm not sure what kind of turkey is now earning her admiration.

So many strutting rituals seem very silly to me.  And yet, there are indeed feathers that will catch my attention.  Some are physical--nice shoulders, nice back and chest.  More important ones are intellectual.  I know that an intelligent sense of humor will make a regular-looking guy seem quite enticing in my view.  And of course, a sexy, raspy tenor or baritone singing voice makes me weak in the knees.  We all have our turn-ons.  I'm not sure that most of the turkeys out there are thinking about these sorts of subtleties in their efforts to show off.  Maybe I'm an odd bird.  But my guess would be that I'm not so very unique.

So to all you Toms out there, I'd suggest that simply being yourself will attract the girl that is right for you.  And for heaven's sake, cover your bum.


20 fishy comments:

Kristina P. said...

I loved this! And I don't understand this trend of boys/men showing their underwear! We have to tell kids to pull up their pants, ALL THE TIME!

2busy said...

Good post! Reminds me of when I was little and a boy would be mean. My mom told me it was because he liked me. I guess he was strutting his stuff...Good to hear from you on here...

jen said...

the more things change the more things stay the same...still holds true

Annette Lyon said...

I've never understood the guy strutting thing either. The things that impressed me were never the things they thought would.

(Nice to see you posting again!)

ramsam said...

My youngest has the biggest "strut" of all my boys, and it makes me laugh! It is just the way he has walked since he learned how to step!

The thing that will catch my eye in an instant is a guys smile. Straight, nice teeth, with an even edge- like they are all the same length- just curls my toes.

Wendyburd1 said...

Teens were fully exposing their butts?! How lame and dangerous with the bug and such out right now!

Erin said...

I saw someone at Wal-Mart just yesterday, where his (belted) pants were just at the level of the bottom of his, ahem, behind, and he had to waddle to walk without them falling down. I had to refrain from laughing. How does that look cool? I must be getting really old.

Thanks for your thoughts.
(I miss you! I need to get on facebook more often, I suppose.)

Lara said...

It's true. These poor Toms really have no idea about what actually impresses girls, do they? So many guys turned me right off in my dating years because of their weird, er, rituals. :)

Loved this post!

VICKI IN AZ said...

Sweet surprise to read such a thought provoking post. Thank You.
I was sad to find you just as you went on sabbatical.

Diane said...

I missed you! I like guys with short hair and clean shaven. I like their pants pulled no piercings. Men in military uniforms look nice too.

Colleen said...

We see the Turkey too. Funny thing...I have one of those handsome turkeys and sometimes I have to remind him that "your pants and falling down" It's a fad! I hope it goes "OUT" soon. It is fun to see the flirtation going on...I just try to keep the kids at my house. In order to do that the kitchen and pantry have to always be "OPEN"! Life is good!!!

Melanie J said...

We see bare bums around here all the time but that's because lots of guys change out of their wet suits right on the street after surfing and they may or may not decide to do the shimmy under a towel. And if they use a towel, it may or may not decide to stay in place. I've learned to live with seared eyeballs.

Jillene said...

This post is AWESOME!! We see underwear all of the time around here with pants sagging to the knees. I have also seen many a moon and wasn't impressed either.

Mina said...

Yes, the pants-hiked-down-with-boxers-hanging-out look was all the rage in So Cal a few years back. It seems to have largely blown over, there at least. I was a little disheartened to find the trend alive and well here in ID.

But in neither place have I seen bare naked bums like these four had just walkin' around. This was no trend. It was some sort of act, a statement. I'm just not sure what they were trying to say.

CaJoh said...

Very well put. I like the tie-in with the actual turkey. I could go on and on about those qualities I thought I lacked when dating. Whenever I feel down, I am always reminded of those feelings, but lately I have noticed that those who don't look don't do so out of spite… they just don't notice.

Heidi Ashworth said...

Hey you! You're back! I am FINALLY getting around to mailing my blog giveaway stuff and I don't think I ever got your address for the flapper photo. Please email me your address at
write2me@heidiashworth.com
Thanks!

Kim said...

Hi, Mina! What a treat to see a new post from you! Your last statement made me laugh out loud. Those crazy boys.

rachel said...

YAY! I was so happy to see a post from you :)

clan of the cave hair said...

I really REALLY wish you would have pulled up alongside them and said "I need to ass you a question"...lol

Heatherlyn said...

I'm all for bum covering. I think that being oneself would be the most helpful strutting, if attracting a mate is the goal.

My ideas of what is attractive changed dramatically from when I was 19 to 21.