Am I mental? No wait, I know the answer to that one.
But even so, what I do not know is why random people--strangers really--can get under my skin. Why on earth would I give more than three seconds worrying about them. But I do.
For instance, I just got a call on my cell. "Hi, is this Jenny?"
"Um, no, it's not."
"Is this Sarah?"
"It's not, you have the wrong number."
At least 5 seconds passed here, and I started to wonder if she'd hung up when, "Okay, thank you for being so rude" sounded sarcastically through the other end of my phone.
I'd like to inform you (since you can't read tone) that I was in a pretty good mood at the moment I'd answered, and I thought I had a friendly, smiling sound to my voice as I answered this person. I had no opportunity of inquiring what about my manner had been so rude. Maybe that's best.
I related all of this to #2 who laughed a little at the silliness and went right back to looking through the Pottery Barn Teen catalog. I realized that in telling her I was searching for validation and comfort, which I was not given. I should have been able to follow her example; laugh and move on. This was such a tiny thing. And tiny things like this seem to happen to everyone now and then. It wasn't really about me. I should have been able to blow it off. But that accusation continued to ring through my ears. I wanted to defend myself as a generally un-rude person.
So how do I do it? How do I disconnect my self-image from the misunderstandings of people who hardly know me or don't know me at all? Imagine how I fall apart when folks who DO know me disagree with me or the way I've handled something. It can be days and weeks of internal turmoil. I need a thicker skin. Well, Christmas and my birthday are coming up, so if you needed any present ideas ...