Knowing

Patience is not one of my strongest virtues.  

This is illustrated by the fact that I do not handle uncertainty well.  For me, one of the worst things about late pregnancy was not knowing what day my child would be born.  Not that I couldn't wait for her (or him) to arrive, but that I couldn't plan when we were leaving for the hospital.  I never knew what I had or didn't have time for, and it drove me crazy.  I like to know.

We are in what has become, for me anyway, a similar situation.  Our family is moving to the Boise area.  This means also that many families are following us--employees of Larry's.  So this decision was not made lightly.  It was as much a business decision as a family decision, although those are admittedly difficult for us to separate.  

I look forward to the move.  Were it not for the great little community that we call home, I'd miss nothing but our family who reside in Southern California.  We think that the upcoming adolescent phase of life facing our kids will be benefitted by the move.  We'll have space for horses and orchards and even sheep, if we so desire.  And I really like Boise.  It's a nice little city with a university and parks and museums.

Originally, the timing was clear and set.  Summer 2009.  That's what it would take to build a house and a warehouse and have everything moved across several states.  #1 would be about to enter high school, so great timing there.

There is now a small chink in the fence.  Larry has found a business for sale.  It's a contract manufacturer of dietary supplements.  That will sound familiar to those of you who know what Larry's company does.  The company is located in Boise.  So, if Larry and his partner decide to buy, we may need to move in August.  This August.

Twelve months is just too much wiggle room for my comfort.  I was prepared to spend the upcoming year getting our family and household ready to relocate.  Now I may only have a few short months.  I was prepared to have a year to take life in, breathe the mountain air, hug my friends, and say goodbye.  If we need to move in August, I'll hardly be able to catch my breath.  It won't be easy.  But ultimately, I just want to know.

Not knowing gives me stomach aches and head aches.  It makes me tense and grouchy and uninterested in life beyond the mystery.

It looks like we'll know by the end of April.  Unfortunately, the end of April is not tomorrow morning.  Not much I can do to hurry it along.  I have great difficulty distracting myself when I'm stressed.  So I am trying to read a book, but I can't get in to it.  I'm trying to do my job, but I am waiting for some dates to be cleared by the school.  I'm trying to keep up on my housework, but it's too easy to think while you're doing dishes and folding laundry.  So I decided that posting on my blog might take my mind off of Idaho.  

Clearly not. 

Check in again in a month.  I'll tell you as soon as I know.